Best of spam for September 2006

Pieces of tributes to Steve Irwin, HPV vaccine article and The Three Musketeers. No "Was at ... when that"s this month. In fact, it seemed to be pretty random!

Subjects

• vacuum cleaner Sunday school
  
• formidably linguistic
  
• ski humiliation
  
• Look rich
  
• information that HEY [did someone off the spammer mid subject creation??]
  
• irritably intermission
  
• List of all questions
  
• for no more than 12 hours at room temperature ...
  
• Call Issac urgently.
  
• cane the cuttlebone, play
  
• dumb but poor aba
  
• fermat wicked
  
• steadfast insert
  
• homogenize a day
  
• breathe severe chest pains [the sender's "name" was cocaines euphoric]
  
• chromatograph is? forgave chant
  
• urgency gesture
  
• textbook They're perect warty [sic on the "perect"]
  
• They're perect pecan
  
• They're perect betrayal
  
• They're exclusive waylaid
  
• They envy you proud
  
• practicable Looking very good foxtail
  
• Looking good mesenteric
  
• bedbug americans
  
• 'cause amphibian
  
• bossy
  
• spotty but note capitol
  
• lucerne it's volley creak

Subjects collected by Michael A. Arnzen, writer of horror stories and poetry with a wicked sense of humor.

• aggressive mannequin
  
• be decomposable
  
• cuddle grime
  
• drive by grimace
  
• efficiency nose ring
  
• goth seniority
  
• grandmamma warlock
  
• medication madhouse
  
• open face surgery
  
• sanity immersion
  
• toucan retardation

Names

• Thaddeus Underwood
  
• Yupiddling @ enlighten.com
  
• Marshall Slaughter

Sound like names

• nicodemus jones
  
• beef the Neanderthal
  
• dumb but poor aba
  
• cane the cuttlebone

Names from text (some from book excerpts)

• Adver-tee
  
• Agathonica
  
• Anjali
  
• Anna-zee
  
• Assa-ree
  
• Bhashyakara
  
• Bissa-tee
  
• Churnikrit
  
• Creakle
  
• Fossoyeurs
  
• Gdynia
  
• Gonardiya
  
• Gurani
  
• Hemachandras
  
• Jagiello
  
• Joséthe
  
• Keyworth
  
• Ky
  
• Laleela
  
• Mousqueton
  
• Musseling
  
• Mysore
  
• Pattabhi
  
• Piast
  
• Specht
  
• Sprott
  
• Stary
  
• Stasi
  
• Steerforth
  
• Teaneck
  
• Traddles
  
• Tyrrheus
  
• Valspar

Phrases

• 'There's always a risk'
  
• the thief idiom
  
• fanfare meringue
  
• electric sentiment
  
• hunger trained
  
• timetable shiplap
  
• but overdo lips
  
• what tempestuous tabula
  
• goodness rectifier
  
• With sock considerable
  
• training cramps
  
• pliancy forehead
  
• bujilt eerie
  
• some cranny manger
  
• swedish amusement as cheaply lover
  
• touchy topics
  
• wakerobin and arccosine
  
• the gaspee singer
  
• brutal attraction
  
• complaisant tomograph
  
• when living liver may favor jack
  
• spirits cookies
  
• cookies agreement
  
• afterwardsafterward shrilly
  
• sunbonnet bravo
  
• personality temple
  
• while snorting minutes
  
• tricycle minute
  
• baklava westbound
  
• osprey prisoners
  
• polar some oyster or string
  
• manumission not criterion
  
• unit soya bean man
  
• togs clog
  
• snook funk
  
• crooked mischief
  
• catabolic jr
  
• breathtaking clash
  
• when misogyny asked
  
• as decorous hunger
  
• that strikes wicked as remarkable generous
  
• some solitary sheriff and disneyland layman
  
• as pointing nightmare and unusual calligraph

Words: interesting, incongruous, invented, mushedtogether

• macrosand
  
• sureglad
  
• musiche
  
• manyder
  
• succulent
  
• tokyocenozoic
  
• wasbedded
  
• namesis
  
• anastomosis
  
• afterwardsafterward
  
• finalView
  
• gaspee
  
• coprinus
  
• juridic
  
• fickle
  
• deserveddeath
  
• inept
  
• andadored
  
• conjugacy
  
• lathrop
  
• lorn
  
• namename
  
• Creakle
  
• Bizdays
  
• prognathous
  
• inappeasable
  
• inappeasable
  
• textWord
  
• usuallycalm
  
• deludeswomen
  
• anymoment
  
• cookies
  
• funk
  
• spam
  
• cranny
  
• reallyneed
  
• themdemonwork
  
• sticky
  
• resistresistance
  
• jugate
  
• impish
  
• facearial
  
• wakerobin
  
• ribald
  
• Itoo
  
• mostamusing
  
• gooddeal
  
• creetur
  
• daytoday
  
• wordswithout [.. spaces?]
  
• melcher
  
• bujilt
  
• AntipodesIndrove
  
• sourberry
  
• Churnikrit
  
• quibble
  
• turnback
  
• stepsounded
  
• witty
  
• Lizzieyou
  
• swoon
  
• tegucigalpa
  
• anchoritism
  
• prophetic
  
• fratricidal
  
• butit
  
• risky
  
• humiliating
  
• densecloud
  
• raquo
  
• predator
  
• tipsy

Real sentences, probably pulled from books that sound intriguing out of context:

• A large, red, furry man exploded out of the Floral Heights office and stared at him.
  
• I don't know whether I'm glad or sorry to find I haven't any brains.

Almost sentences

• launch the buttress
  
• fatty soya sauce Cautiously I approached
  
• baby try army but extant try admonition
  
• it's germicide
  
• as though some all value powerful hand had come through unharmed, because the yesterday great kindergarten brute put out had fried broken I came to the southern end of snack a line of cliffs brain loftier
  
• The poet has not identified which place or event in the world has moved her to use the phrase ?ntial skill.
  
• After becoming Prime Minister, he stated that he had nothing to offer but “blood, toil, tears mast of muslin, and often they reassured me have improved vegetable the livability.

"Poetry"

not cranelike
try completion
on droplet a tussle

in observations greatly
not spectral knoweth
that attune paulus
was tootle ptolemaic

what mug old that connection deus not arrived liberty
the locknut thinnish
some sets germany and byway bellhop and bewitch shu
or riding juridic some solitary sheriff and disneyland layman as pompano impracticable
a arachne birds some session runner that members hecate
what power rays on doctrinal mechanical some carolina five

as pointing nightmare and unusual calligraph
was stature eggs not times petal as bigger become
but rubber mixed what oneline berries may employee balustrade

may ants judge on persuaded kindness
or housekeeper facile may murder tasks and itinerant florida
it's attempts commissioner the overshoe erratic
as hallelujah finally the including pathogenesis

apparition may edmonds,
frivolity may explicate,
dillon may benchmark,
bereave be duffy
some chide
some warfare
the helmut but testamentary on merge

Chunk of a story

Mostly spammers seem to lift pieces from books in the public domain. But this is from a book still in print: Consider Her Ways by Frederick Philip Grove. (There's a review at Review of The Origins of Canadian SF.) So I wonder how they got it. Possibly from a piece quoted in a review but there's a bunch of different pieces posted and captured by others from spam. I can't imagine spammers typing pieces of books in!

If itwas true that Assa-ree was impregnated, the fact furnished a newand different explanation. Within a few hours this was arranged for.

It explainedso many things that I accepted it at once as true. Treason is the outcome of atreasonable disposition; and a treasonable disposition deserveddeath.

There is; but that value is not increased byincreasing knowledge.

At last I lowered my antennæ and turned to descend the tree. But, though her death was indicated, I resolved to make herhappy before she had to die.

She simply found iteasier to sit and be fed than to march and go hungry. Much of what she hadto say was conjectural, she admitted; but it was based on factsobserved. Much of what she hadto say was conjectural, she admitted; but it was based on factsobserved. She has, from that moment on, no other desirethan to inhale this money. I had been following my own thoughts; but when she stood still, I,too, stopped and looked back. We had also made further observations on man; and we had even seenthe Wheeler again. And now we saw something whichseemed for the moment still more appalling. Did we think it would be different with our findings? I, therefore, accompanied by Anna-zee, Adver-tee, and Assa-reerepaired to neutral ground.

The night was absolutely calm; and the lower atmosphere was ladenwith moisture. I leave these wordswithout trying to account for their presence in the text.

Then shedropped heavily to the ground, resting her case and spreading outher legs sideways.

I at once surmisedthat she had something to communicate. Inthe previous chapter it was the word author. Names, that wasall; and, perhaps, a few things to laugh at.

They formed a densecloud covering the pile like a hood. Whole contexts were almost sure to be entangled and subverted.

Did we think it would be different with our findings?

Without that treason we might at anymoment have been murdered. Did we think it would be different with our findings? Now for a summary of the discussion that took place between Bissa-tee and Anna-zee.

The plenary meeting of the remainder of our Command was memorablein more ways than one.

She had made no motion, had emitted no scent.

We were near enough to getting beyond reach even should he turnback. Then shedropped heavily to the ground, resting her case and spreading outher legs sideways.

Another piece:

Assa-ree caught spiders and sentthem on their aerial voyage.

Fiveyears were the average lifetime of all but the queen among Attas;and I was now twice that age. But Assa-ree might well haveoverlooked these two facts. With a feeling of utter nausea I turned away and emittedthe scent of rally. Below us there was the first of a series of islands; and I gave thesignal for a quick descent.

I did not know how far our army had advanced. If such was her end, what, then, was the use of all antly striving?

We had to make a vastdetour in order not to be entangled in the sticky mass.

But this revival of morale was destined to be of short duration. These and similar questions had occurredto me, too. More and moreants followed them, and all went to instant death.

I did not know how far our army had advanced.

And she had felt sure that we were going to perish, had she not?

Azte-ca was not interested in such things. I was stillhoping that others would straggle in; but in that hope I wasdisappointed. When we did so, we found that almost one half of the remainder ofour army had been killed. We had proof of thefact that she had used the carriers of the army for thetransportation of pupæ. She asked for my advice and sometimes for my assistance. Fiveyears were the average lifetime of all but the queen among Attas;and I was now twice that age. But Assa-ree might well haveoverlooked these two facts.

But another half hour went bybefore we were in a state to investigate.

And another piece:

I glanced at Bissa-tee who, by this time, was catching theinfection of excitement from Azte-ca. Then Azte-ca, still leading, turned north. I wascoming, I said, to the more important points.

There was barely any abatement in the numbers of humans crowdingalong on their mysterious errands.

We hadconsiderable trouble in finding a safe path close to the buildingson our side. Azte-ca never stopped, but hurried on as if she knewexactly what she was about. It seemed that only Assa-ree had both thescience and the strength to slay her assailants. And sheshot out of our formicary in such a precipitous way that Bissa-teeand I were highly amused. Ergatogynes,too, occur as a regular thing only with ants of the lower orders.

The greatest of all ouradventures, she scented, was ahead of us, provided we did notdelay. We had proof of thefact that she had used the carriers of the army for thetransportation of pupæ. She herselfadvanced, flashing her scissor jaws; but I was ready. ButAzte-ca led; and we followed; to stop would have been to invitecertain death. We raised nodifficulty, however; we were only too curious ourselves.

If her union had been adelphogamous, she must have done thecourting herself. Only then does sheproceed to lay eggs from which the three castes of her own kind areproduced. A human hurrying along,with his head bent low, saw me and stopped. What I had done had been done under the dictates of state-craft. The expression means, therefore, that Assa-ree had risen from theranks. This type of slavery is very common among men.

What, she asked, if in future we should need a formicary?

Daylightcame, dim and dismal; and then night came again; but it brought norest. We saw nothing, but I mustreport that Bissa-tee trembled.