Best of spam for December 2006

Spam has supplied a potential new subtitle for the blog:

"Why not check out this convenient page with lots of them for you to enjoy." -- spam quote

"Can u believe it that we will make you h@ppy ?" -- spam quote

With fewer spam in December as a Christmas present? Spammers got a lot of mileage out of the snow dump on Denver. The odd sender names continued but the new trend this month was an introduction of some fantastical "names" in the subjects like "Mancel Miramon Kupperman Sodapop Lippincott Tarkanian" and also several more "names" as spam footers that were even more deliciously elaborate.

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Cryptic award

"We can help you lose your winter coat"

I got two offers to help me lose my coat. Both had long pseudo-name subjects. Both had URL links that included a ">". (Not sure if those would even work.) So no clues there. I'm intrigued but not enough to risk what might await at the other end.

Names

• Pearlie Hutchins
  
• Ty Templeton
  
• Vacheron Constantin
  
• Fay Walls

Sound like names that were senders

• Zoobie Woobie
  
• Son Roach
  
• Wisecrack Eggs (the email address was Hilario Tended who was "exceedingly overjoyed" to refinance my mortgage)
  
• BooZee
  
• Judd Imaginative
  
• Humberto combination
  
• sheridan Wiped
  
• Bernard toad
  
• Ha thinking (who was "emphatically elated")
  
• Glycerol Peacock
  
• Matt Tic
  
• developing Janine
  
• Cunningham baroque (does it have anything to do with the other spam sender: Mrs Grover Cunningham?)
  
• Christianity Dolores
  
• Basement Alpheratz
  
• Acceptance Dorothea
  
• Hygrometer Larson
  
• Locking Stanley (who was "seriously elated")
  
• Steinberg cotillion
  
• Jamaal lodging (who was "without a doubt excited")
  
• Russell entering
  
• Jackson beggary (he was "decidedly overjoyed")
  
• stale Exultation
  
• Whitlock Z Albaspacesuit
  
• Wombat Swain
  
• Pro Simpler
  
• reflection Effie

Sound like names that were subjects

• Mancel Miramon Kupperman Sodapop Lippincott Tarkanian
  
• Haveland Rodion Kretschmar-Schuldorff 
  
• Shrew Doran Vultan Gurau Kemp-Bird Winsley
  
• Cadwallader Canuti Carletto Corven
  
• Roxane Ruffler Kennar Godmother Ichimionji 
  
• Morley Handy Mi D-Day Victor Odell
  
• Capper Barclay Jemmy
  
• Player Carewe Neilson Admirer Cannelloni Brown 
  
• Bakhtiari Chief-dancer Vacarri Psychologist
  
• Bobbitt Cloudsley Gisele Whiteside
  
• Reagan Vassili Jockey Kiernan Kamla Wyverne Allason
  
• Moralist Strongbow Calogere
  
• Olie Muscle Maz Partington Zama St.
  
• Mazzarini Humping Lenox Luna Magaly
  
• Fontan Bourne D'Acosta Cahill Montalvo
  
• Natalie Crunch Secretary Quinlen Caviar Elwyn Brendan
  
• Strashimirov Bellissima Catfish
  
• Perier Rogelio Kettering Beckstein Ararat
  
• Hruska guest Silvana Adolph
  
• Agnew Arch Burgomil Jessie
  
• Poppie Pesky Tomania/ Fredrick Maritones Clarissa
  
• Drac Missy Cadwalader 
  
• Ragni Cephu Kriemhilds Taffey Dain
  
• Drogo Daredevil Wildman
  
• Bravo Danny Kronk Concepcion Rommel Aratoon DePinna
  
• Jawald Ashton Bleuntzil Lyon Valentino Belinski
  
• Burnstead Mackenzie Swimming Zopilote Millet 
  
• Pegg Milford Nichols Father Lilybell Studio
  
• Torlato-Favrini Alicia Lightcap

And the winners, though they needed to go inside the spam, since they were just too gloriously long:

• Concessionaire Grypton Marchant Garrity Hallohan Smedley-Taylor Defydd Toots Aviators Schribman Sid Nita Challee Zaida Anaxander Adelina Carteloise Alby Fizz Loger Maybelle Ruthven Aubel Fingerbone Dao Spyros Deanie Volkoff Skeates Banai Raouf Buys Jiro Kipp Walder Bit Mort Chic Desdemona Machet Burpelson Arlette Ecklund Morison Arnstein Thanatogunos Blender Bond/007 Beauperthuis Davin Surgeon Boysie Bear Chagny Billiken Solley
  
  
• Dandini Rebel Chaliapin Toshio Peterke Carmine Claypole Ashigara Camera Wateeka Martow Delegate LaSalle Mailler Allshard Department Dinklespieler Cocket Branton Jones/"Killer Helga Aristid Reichmuth Kumar Dental Biggs Alys Conger Cesarea Alfieri Freneau d'Algout Ducelle Tsurumaru Honori Voort Barr Sowad Catron Thayer Barabas Mosler Aelhswith Ken Gwerder DOWN Haussmann Background Bukovsky Ferryman Crisp Canteen Voltaire Kumar Amnon Fessier DOWN Latvian Arbutt Torunemire Lekain Cedillo Double-face Kameragul Dying Deliveryman Jaimie Bissonette Blifil Antonowna Walton Stevers Gaines Ar-Yo Gora Branchart Songkrod
  
  
• Sgt. Ansel Brasi Saleswoman Mau Telegraph Tanong McHabe Belvin Conlan stutterer Janegger McPhee Ashigara Parke Rosenfeld Canter Benish Routledge Pellegrin lo Doumet Amadato Holl Flap Barsad Biegler Ministry Ossie Carson Stella Preiser Kedes Colquhoun MR. Colleti Barbato Jourdonnais Hodgkiss Urgl Fornari Colorado Baltz Morena Dolworth Trock Binswanger Liesel Lagaffe Berndle Denker Haden Rogelio Sweetheart Villager Yard Flacco Osilo Summerer Yanouske Questadt Olson Pope Ferrar Furuya MacPherson Pixote Pinkey Rigsy Realtor Buguet Corey Anne Jolly
  
  
• Finchon Gorebucker Iver Massoud Passiona Chop-Top Louis Colbert Amolt Bounty Bohm Gillom Nuthall Fryd Dizzy Colorist Ares Greenleaf Burridge Voices Ayre DeLagorgue Dictator Maglena Editor-in-chief Freder Dakis Blumenthal Winder College Pals Hettie Bellerose Schindler Jaspera Moff Tophet Titina Delima Fra Bezano Tai Elya Comic Arnaud Wislak Drummer Korn film Marsha Morel Gri Perrone Centurian Pennell Hemingway Arnaud Calamari BILL Bardoni Manservant Cazaret Hallon Annuziata Gage Gaspara Ferreira Bromden Colorra flyer Assasin Bonfain

Subjects

• and Tasks Tenuous
  
• trying not begin
  
• Deity and Delgado
  
• rhubarb charity
  
• And creep within their bells to suck the balmy seed
  
• beauteous alveolar
  
• crucifies Puerto discover battlefields Merriam excellence
  
• Disagree the render Goodness
  
• Imagine face
  
• masking tape
  
• gawk shore
  
• problems open Hitherto
  
• I had the same problem
  
• Modern as yankees (Sent to Red Sox terrirory??)
  
• Blizzard but flour
  
• look Disapproval louisiana

Phrases

• pestilential dragon
  
• blackbody scanty
  
• puffball bouffant breathtaking queen
  
• binomial berry
  
• motorcycle evolution design passion
  
• moose be afraid
  
• uranus rex
  
• sardonic supremum
  
• unkempt barrier
  
• topaz proctor astoria thunderstorm
  
• adulterate astrophysics bee
  
• liquidus hairy
  
• derisive anorexia drum
  
• midget domino vex beginning

Words

• blackbody
  
• greylag
  
• monkeyflower
  
• Pandemonium

Almost makes sense

• When rage excites your arms and strength supplies the rage unloading a carload of freight there
  
• New filmmakers at us film schools, have.
  
• Youre a guest under your uncles roof eating his grub accepting his
  United States and remember that Gus is in this too as much as I am
  
• Over original paintings that, reveal, form posture plumage
  
• Deep well knowledge lifetime experience, racer historian walker, sheds.
  
• ductile on pentagon a knowledge it's fissile
  
• Dangerous mindcoyote vs, pretty yorkgerrya
  
• Edition tired flipping pages jumping starts, where left replacing.
  
• Stearman editing flip fsp storecom cake decorating interview
  
• Story be someone pass street every day!

Perhaps a small piece of an epic poem

But Fortune soon resumd her ancient hate
Then rushing onward with a barbrous cry
Strange isnt it how we often are reminded of funny things

Sentences

• So Listen you pusillanimous knockkneed shrimp Im going to mash ....

Headlines

• amoebae flop chafe tremulous englishman
  
• Sistine chapel master thief is strike!
  
• Sex golf cheat (a game played with clubs and balls and holes does sound rather suggestive)

The Real Stuff

• Our unquestionable almost originals include these brands

Stock spam

They made a brief reappearance with their "briar patch" template mixed in with some (I’m guessing) real sentences.

He said if that was the case, he guessed I probably knew what I was talking about.
A completely linguistic briar patch gives secret financial aid to the fairy.
He was as scared of her as ever, but her hold over him had nonetheless diminished.
The imaginative pork chop, an anomaly about a food stamp, and the fried scythe are what made America great!
and if I give you what you want, you wont like it, and you wont want it anymore.